WHY DO WE FALL IN LOVE?
Katrina, 18 years old and a college student has a noticeable change in her behavior. She now puts on make-up to accentuate her endowed beauty. She also puts on cologne (vanilla scent because it’s said to have magnetic effect on men). She plays on different hairstyles and dress with a hint of sexiness. She becomes extra charming, tender and approachable to men.
Most of all, there is ‘spark” in her eyes everytime her suitor visits her, — that’s not ordinary to people who are in love… we’re in love when we find ourselves lying helpless in our beloved’s arms… when we imagine our unborn children in his/her eyes…when we hear every beat of our heart in his/her chest.. when we become romantic lover and sentimental fool… when we are with him/her even for so brief a time feels like an eternity…when we want the whole world know we are in love…. Oh! I have romanticized view of falling in love. But what is it really to fall in love?
Literary genre whether prose and poetry are all about falling in love. We are psychologically conditioned to believe in magic like the fairy tale stories ‘Snow White, Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.’ Scientifically speaking, there happens in our bodies when we fall in love. The PEA (phenylethylamine)- an internally generated infatuation drug, is rapidly activated when we begin to feel attracted to someone. The love hormone in our brain ignites a series of complex biochemical processes.
Thus, we feel we are floating on air signaling that we are in love because dopamine stimulates oxytocin in our bodies. Norepinephrine, on the other hand stimulates the release of adrenaline. The blood pressure rise when near with our object of affection. We pound and sweat and have butterflies in our stomach. Yes, we are governed by the rhythm of our body chemistry when we are in love.
We may differ in interpretation of the various manifestations of falling in love, but all of us agree that there is such mysterious, strange, unknown, vast and infinite source why we fall in love. But why do we fall in love? Why there is strong attraction that we can’t fathom completely? In an attempt to explain it, we fall in love for many different reasons. We fall in love with a person because he/she gives financial support, offers moral support, becomes a shock absorber, serves as a mother or father figure (Oedipus or Elektra complex), possesses the qualities we lack in, etc. Again and again, why do we fall in love? There’s no absolute reason to this question. It is subjective and relative to different persons. What is true to one person may not be true to another person. It’s amazing how we fall in love without knowing about it. Love is there but it is not understood completely. Falling in love…heart on fire… no other emotion that can be black and white all the same time simultaneously. Scientists studied this emotion by its complexity and still… it remains a puzzle. After all, we cannot analyze love inspite that it is analyzable. Today, love is tremendously misunderstood. We think love when it is just infatuation, we think love when we feel lust, we think love when we want romance and so and on. Love also has ultimatums and conditions. We often say, ‘I love you if you change.. you leave your… I love you because you give satisfaction to my needs… you serve as my saviour… you are appealing to my senses… etc.” How about this…’ I love you inspite of your weakness…. You give me burdens… you have no job or money… you cheated on me … etc.”
If love has many considerations, could it be true love? Does love find us or do we find love? Again, being persistently curious, ”why do we fall in love?” Philosophers, psychologists, sages or love gurus can’t give the exact answer to this question. To this, maybe we should stop finding the answer but start asking the right question.
I hope that because of love, with love and for love… we become the person that we should be becoming!
I pray that we just not fall in love but we soar in love because we feel there is heaven on earth with our mate… we just not fall in love for our feelings sometimes fade but we grow in love because we develop the five stages of love… we just not be in love for sometimes heart is the most deceitful of all but we are inlove because our pure and passionate emotions will last. Aargh… I’m writing what we human beings always feel but never fully understood and I don’t think we’ll ever.
DEFINITION OF LOVE
I think love means Prince William of London
There’s sudden magic and it has no reason
Love is the third eye blind
It is extremely hard to find
Love’s a flirt
Love’s a hurt
Loving is madness
Madness is loving
Is love taking a cross?
Making heart our boss?
Does it make a constructive thing?
Does it give an immortal wing?
Flying and flying in the sky
Convince didn’t I?
L ove is not love if we’re in love with the idea of being in love
O r in love with the projection, possession or accomplishment
of our object of affection and the
V ery focal point on how he/she makes us feel
wonderful and passionate is all that counts not the
E ssence of who and what he/she is and how he/she
builds our character and value.
THE BEST DEFINITION I CAN GIVE —
LOVE IS BETTER FELT THAN DEFINED.