THE DEFENSE MECHANISMS THAT SPOIL A DESIRABLE PERSONALITY

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Illustrative image of sub conscious level

Illustrative image of sub conscious level

1. Suppression- we consciously control our negative experiences. E.g. – we don’t want to bring out in conversations our unpleasant past. Can we possess a desirable personality if we hide bitterly our negative experiences?

Peter: Hey, you’re like that again. It seems history repeats itself. Remember last year when we are all pissed off because of what you do? Bullet: Don’t lecture me. I will slap your face if you ever mention that. I don’t want to hear that again. There’s no need to rehash that.

2. Repression- we convince ourselves that problems don’t exist. We don’t do anything to solve or lessen them. Can we possess a desirable personality if we pretend that there’s no problem?

Bullet: Why did you come back? Care to tell what’s the next lie you will tell?
“Coz I know you’re such an amazingly excellent manipulative and psychotic individual you’ve become and I will give you an Oscar award for that!
Mik: God, since when did you become hot? I love your new physique,., so dashing and smoldering.
Bullet: Why did you come back?
Mik: I came back for you. You love me once, you can love me again. We have no problem now because I am here now.
Bullet: But you cheated on me and you broke my trust.
Mik: My boo, kiss me or kill me?

3. Identification- we imagine ourselves that we are another person whom we emulate or want to be like. Can we possess a desirable personality if we don’t own our individuality?

Mik: I don’t want to jeopardize your bruised ego Bullet, but it’s for your best. You’re wearing that wardrobe again. It doesn’t suit your personality. You’re trying hard and you’re turning into dumb, jack ass. You would like to belong in that group because they are popular? How far would you go to be with them?
Bullet: With all honesty, I want to belong in that group! I think they’re popular, cool and hip.

4. Displacement- we direct our anger or grudge toward objects or persons. Can we possess a desirable personality if we place our negative emotions toward objects or persons?

Peter is singing Empty by Click Five…… try to take a picture of love, hmmmm, but it’s empty.
Bullet: Stop singing, don’t you see I’m all screwed up. I kind of had a huge emotional connection to that …… I hate her. Every inch of my soul screams hatred (while he crumpled the paper and slammed the door hardly).

5. Denial- we deny our emotions when we can’t tolerate them. Can we possess a desirable personality if we deny the truth?

Bullet: A beautiful disaster it has been. Sometimes, woooh……… give me something bad, and I’ll tell you how it might be good.
Peter: I can’t think, I’m an idiot for a moment. Are you okay?
If you want to have some talk, I’m around.
Bullet: Break-up, I’m all good.
Peter: Please don’t hold back your tears. You need to cry, it’s okay because you have to. Sometimes you need to be strong to admit you’re weak, I won’t judge you for that ‘coz our hearts our broken and ripped off sometimes.
Bullet: I’m really okay, I’m all good. I have no problem!

6. Projection- we attribute our negative traits and motives to another. Can we possess a desirable personality when we point out our unwanted characteristics to other people?

Peter: Let’s join them.
Mik: I don’t like the girl. I despise her and her presence is an annoyance to me. She’s a flirt and the flirtiest of the flirt.
Bullet: Don’t be offended by me but you’re the Goddess of the
flirt also. You’re irritated with her because it’s more suitable for her to be flirt, so pretty and charming. I can’t blame her to be flirting around when you wish you are also doing the same thing. Hmmm, life is too short to live it as an envious person.

7. Sour Grape – we tell that grape is sour when we don’t get what we want. Can we possess a desirable personality when we mask our real feelings and find fault in someone or something when we fail?

Mik: Oh, I enjoyed watching Felicity. I think Ben should be out of the picture because I much preferred Noel and Felicity. Before I forgot, I love One tree Hill. I think Nathan is so hot and delicious.
Kind of remind me of something beautiful and sexy. By the way, what’s your grade in World Literature?
Bullet: Oh! It’s okay. I didn’t get a high grade on that subject. Anyway, it’s just a minor subject. Apparently enough, it’s not really important, my course is Architecture.

8. Sweet Lemon- we tell that lemon is sweet when we get what we don’t want. Can we possess a desirable personality when we mask our real feelings and pretend that we’re always fine?

Mik: Oh, congratulations! For winning the second place. You’re amazing. It seems we gonna drink some wine tonight!
Bullet: Nope, I won’t be the second best. You see that judge; she doesn’t know how to judge. She has no taste at all and she really sucks!

9. Fantasy- we seek escape from real world through imagination. Can we possess a desirable personality when we over-engaged in fantasy?

Peter: Hey, what’s up? Are you through with our project?
Bullet: I’ve been dreaming of charming and sexy Sophia Bush as my exclusive date. I can see and feel her in the trappings of romantic world. A beautiful enchantress she is to me. Gosh, I can’t concentrate on my project.

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